Black and Blue
by kaeh96
Summary: Oneshot:what scars have made Jennifer Jareau into the person she is today? Trigger warning: deep descriptions of abuse towards children, and brief mentions of suicide.


**A/N: So this is a fic I've been wanting to write for awhile, because it's always been a head canon of mine that JJ-and presumably her sister Rosaline-suffered some sort of abuse in their childhood. This is a very dark and tough to read story, so please, mature audiences only, and the trigger warning stands. I brought myself to tears writing this oneshot, and I hope it will move whoever reads this to learn how to do something about the monster that is domestic violence towards children. Please read carefully, and respect that this is something very close to many hearts-including my own. I love you ****guys, and please know that you all are so deserving of love.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds and/or it's affiliates.**

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><p><em>"<em>_Let's raise children who won't have to recover from their childhoods."_

_-Pam Leo_

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><p><em>June 11th, 1988<em>

Nine year old Jennifer Jareau pulled her pillow over her head as she heard her sister's cries from the next room over.

_'__I hate when mom goes out of town.'_

She knew what her (very drunk) father was doing was wrong, but Rosaline always told her "not to worry" and that she could "handle it" on her own. Still, she wished she could walk in, tell her dad to stop, and walk away and just make everything alright.

But she couldn't do that. Rosaline always told her that when their dad got mad, JJ should go to her room and pretend to be asleep so that she would be safe. They couldn't tell their mother because they were afraid their father would hurt her-or them-if they said a word.

JJ heard her sister smuggling-even more so than normal-and decided that she couldn't take it anymore. She was almost ten years old and she should be able to stand up to their father by now.

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><p>She slid out of bed, put on her slippers, and made her way into the hallway. She paused outside her sister's door, listening in for a second.<p>

_"__Shh, don't want to wake the little one now do we?"_

Infuriated, she acted before she could think, and before she knew it, she was five feet away from the tall man, who stood over her fifteen year old sister.

"Dad! Get away from Rose!"

He stood up straight, and very, _very,_ slowly turned around to face his youngest child.

"_What_ did you just say to me?"

She gulped silently, and repeated herself,

"I s-said to get aw-way from Rose."

She hated when she stuttered-it was a side effect of her nerves that she'd had for as long as she could remember.

Their father made large strides towards his petite daughter, and without warning, he wrapped his large, strong, hand around her tiny forearm.

'_Too hard.' _She thought as she resisted letting out a small whimper of pain.

He pulled his face close to hers, his blue eyes meeting her matching set,

"Listen to me, little brat. You don't tell me, or _anyone_ else what to do, because that is disrespectful, and in my house, disrespect isn't tolerated. Do you understand?"

His voice changed pitches-a side effect of the alcohol-but the last question was sharp and he tightened his grip on he arm as he asked it. She could barely manage a nod as she did her best to fight the tears she felt arising in her eyes.

"Good."

With that, he released her with a quick motion, nearly slamming her small body into the wall. She watched as he made his way back to Rosaline, but let a rush of adrenaline control her next move.

She dashed over, and held his forearm as tightly as she could before he could land a blow on her sister. He returned her defensive move by taking hold of her hair. Ignoring her loud cry, he spun her around and backed her into the wall, pinning her against it with his large arm across her chest, leaving her gasping for air.

"Oh, you're bold, just like me"

He jabbed her in the ribs with a force greater than any she'd ever felt-sending her crashing to the floor.

"JJ! Get up and run!" She heard Rosaline's shaky but assertive voice call out to her, but all she could think about was trying to breathe. She closed her eyes as she heard a loud slapping sound ring throughout the dark room.

"Get out of here!" Their father made his way back to JJ, and kicked her-_hard_- in the gut. She coughed and scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could, and dashed back to her own room, tears streaming down her face.

_'__Why wouldn't he listen to me? Why did he hurt me? Why does he hurt Rose so much? _**_Why?_**_"_

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><p><em>December 6, 1988<em>

_"__So did you have fun?"_ Sandy Jareau asked Rosaline with a chirpy voice.

"Yeah mom, I really did. Everyone was so great, even JJ seemed amused."

_"__That kid is mature beyond her years, of course she didn't mind hanging out with a bunch of teenagers for the night."_

Rosaline laughed, agreeing with her mother.

_"__Baby, I'm sorry I couldn't be there on your birthday this year, but I'm glad you had fun. Give JJ and daddy lots of hugs and kisses for me, okay?"_

"Okay mom." Rosaline tried to make her voice light at the mention of her father.

_"__I love you birthday girl, and I'll see you guys next week."_

"I love you too."

_"__Goodnight baby."_

"Night momma."

Rosaline hung up the phone, and headed back down to the kitchen to put it in the cradle.

"Mom?"

Rosaline jumped at the voice of her sister, and turned around to see her sitting on the couch in the small family room off the kitchen.

"Yeah." Rosaline smiled and made her way over to the small girl.

"And, she told me to give you lots of these!" She quickly took JJ into her arms and started kissing her sister's head all over.

"Rose! Stop it! I get it, lots of kisses from mom!"

Rosaline obliged to her sister's request, giggling as the smaller blonde dramatically wiped her face all over. Rosaline proceeded to hold JJ closer to her side, and they looked out the window at the stars.

"Happy birthday Rose, I love you." JJ said softly.

Rose looked in JJ's eyes-the blue eyes she _so_ wished she'd had, they were their mother's eyes, softer than their father's icey blue-grey eyes and much prettier than her own brown set,

"I love you too, JJ, and thank you."

They stared out the window for a few moments longer, before deciding to head upstairs to bed.

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><p>JJ knew what would come next; her father would make his drunken way into her room, beat on her a little, then go into Rosaline's room and shove her around-just like he had for the past six months.<p>

She waited, and waited…and waited-but he never came. Also, she heard small whimpers from her sister's room, but not the usual screaming or crying.

_'__And he isn't throwing her around…'_

She waited for hours for him to come in, but gave up and resigned herself to sleep.

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><p>The next morning, JJ came down to see her sister mindlessly pouring herself a bowl of cereal-as she usually did.<p>

"Morning Rose."

JJ waited a minute, but she got no response from her sister.

"Hey, you going deaf? I said good morning."

Still, nothing.

_'__I wonder if it has to do with last night…'_

JJ decided to let her sister be, and they silently went about their morning routines with the sound of their father snoring upstairs in the background.

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><p>Rosaline didn't speak until their mother came home the next week, and even then all they got were short sentences. JJ tried to ask why she was acting so weird, but every time, all she got as a response from her sister was, "It's nothing you need to worry about."<p>

JJ eventually came to the conclusion that asking her sister was only making the situation worse, so she did her best to comfort Rosaline as they helped one another cope through their father's harsh words and even harsher actions.

_'__It'll stop someday…it has to.'_

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><p><em>August 20th, 1989<em>

The day Rosaline Jareau committed suicide didn't seem real to any of her family members-especially JJ.

While their poor mother was clueless, JJ knew that Rosaline was in too much pain to handle life anymore. Still, it was a shock when JJ walked into the bathroom that morning to see her sister's blood all over, and as she cried over her sister's body and screamed out for her mother, she wondered if she was looking at her future-if _this_ was what their father would eventually do to both his daughters.

When JJ spoke at Rosaline's funeral, she told everyone that Rosaline had been in pain, and she wished that she could have done something. She kept it vague so as not to turn her father's gears, but she wanted to voice her sister's pain so that everyone would be aware to some degree-and maybe stop her father's rages.

She did.

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><p><em>July 18th, 1996<em>

JJ sorted through the attic, putting up with what had once been her mother's task but,-since the death of her father-had fallen on her shoulders.

She sneezed and sniffled as she found dusty old photos, articles of clothing, and boxes of knick-knacks. However, something caught her eye that stopped her dead in her tracks.

_"__Rosaline"_ the box read.

JJ made her way over and couldn't open the cardboard box fast enough. What she found inside was books-dozens of books. Every single one had a title, except for the very last one, which was an old, brown, leather-bound, book. She flipped it open to pages of her sister's handwriting.

_'__A journal.'_

She looked at each date as she searched for the one day she wanted-no, _needed_-to read.

"_August 19th, 1989_

_Dear whoever is reading this,_

_I'm sorry, because I know that by the time you read this, I will be dead. Please know that the reason behind my suicide is that I cannot bear to live in a world where I have been physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by my own father. I'm failing in school, my baby sister and mother don't even know me anymore, and it's just too much. Speaking of my sister, she too, has been hurt by this man for over the past year. I know he has hit her and scarred her for life, and I hope that the bastard burns in hell one day for what he has done to our family._

_Again, I'm sorry this has ended the way it has…maybe it was meant to be."_

JJ was in tears as she finished reading her sister's last entry.

_'__Her last thoughts.'_

She gripped the gold necklace that Rosaline had given to her on the last day of her life, and looked up as if staring her sister in the eyes, and whispered,

"Don't worry Rose, he can't hurt us anymore."

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><p><em>"<em>_If anyone causes these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the sea."_

_-Matthew 18:6_

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><p><strong>PSA: Child abuse is <strong>**_not_**** okay. Believe me, I know. If you or someone you know is being hurt by a so-called loved one, please call your local child abuse hotline. You deserve help, and a loving family. Please, get help, because ****_love shouldn't hurt._**


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